I’ve read so many stories from people who turned to Hekate, prayed to Her, asked for guidance or change… and then watched their lives go completely to shit. I’m talking full-on chaos. Identity crisis. Job loss. Relationship implosions. It’s honestly become the number one fear I hear from folks when it comes to working with Hekate: She’s so intense. She’ll tear your life apart. She only teaches through tough love.

So… is any of that true?

Yeah. Sometimes. She can flip your world upside down. She’ll burn through the bullshit, rip out the rot, and force you to look at what’s not working. But here’s the part too many people miss: She’s not doing it to hurt you. She’s doing it because She knows you can take it. If She wrecks your comfort zone, it’s because She sees what’s beyond it. She knows your capacity better than you do. And She’ll drag that strength out of you kicking and screaming if She has to.

But here’s the thing: you don’t always have to take the scorched earth path.

When you ask Hekate for help, whether you’re lighting candles or just sobbing into your blanket, you’re working magick. Whether you mean to or not. That energy sets things in motion. And magick, like water, tends to flow where there’s the least resistance. That’s why it sometimes feels like everything goes sideways fast. You ask for change, and suddenly your whole life’s a demolition site. Effective? Absolutely. Comfortable? Hell no.

But that’s not your only option. You can ask for change to come gently. You can say, “Yes, please help me… but don’t drop a wrecking ball on my life to do it.” She’ll listen. She’s not out here trying to prove a point. She just takes the most direct route unless you ask otherwise. So if you want things to shift without losing your job, your house, and your damn mind? Say so. Be clear.

Let’s break it down. You ask Hekate for more money. A few days later, you get fired. Cue panic. Anger. Regret. You’re sitting there thinking She’s punishing you. But then? A few weeks go by, and you land a job that pays better and doesn’t treat you like trash. You got what you asked for. It just didn’t come in the soft, sparkly package you were hoping for.

Jason Miller, Mr. Sorcery of Hekate himself, tells a story like this. He needed $3,000 and turned to magick for some help. Not long after, bam, car accident. Car’s messed up but still drives. Insurance cuts him a check. How much? You guessed it. Three grand. He got the money. He also got a fucked up car. That’s how this works. It’s responsive, not polite.

And that’s where people mess up: vagueness. Imagine walking into a restaurant and yelling, “I’m starving!” The chef nods. Five minutes later, a massive steak hits your table. Problem is, you’re vegetarian. You got exactly what you asked for – food – but not something you feel comfortable eating. That’s what happens when you scream out to Hekate, “Fix it!” without bothering to explain what “fix” means to you.

Vagueness isn’t always bad. Sometimes it’s better. But when you’re working with a Goddess who can literally rearrange the architecture of your life? Throw in a few filters. If you ask for love, say you want it to come without heartache. If you ask for cash, say you don’t want your income to come from an insurance claim. If you want change, ask for it in a way you can handle. You have every right to ask that. You’re not weak. You’re wise.

Hekate isn’t cruel. She’s not cackling while your life collapses. She’s protective. Fierce. Efficient. She gets shit done. But She’s not your babysitter. She’s your ally. And if you don’t say how you want things to go? She’s going to take the fastest route, whether that’s a nudge or a goddamn earthquake.

So if you’re going to work with Her, really work with Her, then do your part. Be specific. Be respectful. Be fucking clear! Or don’t. Just don’t whine when She delivers exactly what you asked for… and nothing like what you wanted.